Jewed!

Un-fucking-believable.

I've just been slapped by a 100 shekel (~$25) fine for... get this... jaywalking.

Everywhere in the Middle East that I've previously been, you cross the streets at any point you choose, at any time you like. You don't have to wait for the red light. You don't need to find a crossing. Hell, you don't have to wait for a lull in the traffic.

In Cairo, Damascus, Beirut... I would cross the road by stepping off the curb into onrushing waves of honking, smoke-belching vehicles. Sometimes they would grind to a grudging halt as I sauntered across the road, allow me to cross their path before zooming on. Sometimes they'd ignore me and rocket on, missing my toes or heels by mere centimeters.

Some days, I would feel chicken-livered... and would- such cowardice!- actually wait for a break in the traffic before running across the street. But I certainly never... ever... stooped to using a zebra-crossing, or waited for the little flashing green man's permission.

Imagine my surprise when one day, on a sunny day in Jerusalem, I sauntered across an empty street with the little walking man on the traffic light flashing bright red, only to encounter a cop on the other side. He had a sharkish grin on his face and a clipboard in his hand.

Apparently, Israeli drivers are so reckless, and road-crossing accidents so frequent, that the government has instituted a mandatory 100 shekel fine for jaywalking.

Israel is the worst kind of driving society, because its road rules occupy a strange no-man's-land between order and chaos.

Consider. On one extreme, there is Law: in Canada, for example, there are Rules on the road. People obey them- and expect them to be obeyed. Everyone knows what should and should not happen, and thus are accidents avoided. On the other extreme, there is complete Lawlessness: in Arab countries, there are no road rules. It's a Might Makes Right, Dog Eat Dog world. But because there are no rules, and no one expects there to be any, the Arab highway and byway runs according to its own logic. Arab drivers have to be on their toes all the time, but because they are, accidents are avoided.

If the Canadian road is predictably predictable, the Arab one is predictably unpredictable. See?

Israel waffles between the two, and this is what kills people. The Israeli road has Rules, and people expect them to be followed... like in Canada. But a country that has fought six (or seven?) wars breeds an impatient people. Eat, fuck, and drive like a maniac, because you could die tomorrow. So Israeli roadsters frequently disobey rules for which there is some societal expectation that they will be followed.

And that's why I am now out 100 shekels.

Well, I've already funded terrorism by buying a shirt from Hezbollah in Lebanon. Now, I've officially funded Zionism as well. What's next, Hamas?

Jewed!