And Man made God in His own Image

This is the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth, which celebrates the good news given to Mary by the archangel Gabriel: that she would bear the Son of God. It was to be the first case of artificial insemination in human history... or more likely, the most original cover-up ever invented by an unfaithful wife.

It's also been the subject of a million jokes, my favorite of which is:

Q: What did the Virgin Mary cry out in the sack?

A: Oh, God! Oh, GOD! OH, GOD!

This church, bar none, my favorite church of all time... and I've been to the Vatican, Notre Dame, and Westminster Abbey.

It's not the unique depictions of Mary and Gabriel carven into the church's frontal facade...

... or the colorful backdrop to the tabernacle and altar...

Rather, it's the "Our Lady" murals. The interior and surrounding cloister of the church are decorated by dozens of murals and mosaics, each depicting a single theme: the Virgin Mother and Child.

But more interestingly, each mural is designed and assembled by artists from a different nation- each displaying the cultural and political coloring of the nation that created it.

The Good Book says that God made Man in His own image.

Wrong. It's the other way round.

Oh, one more thing. The murals were predominantly done by Catholic nations, or Catholic communities in non-Catholic states.

Protestants. They're hopeless. I learned today that they don't even cross themselves in church.

There were some bread and butter offerings. Take this one from France... doesn't really push the envelope.

Justin came up to me at one point and said: "Dude, you're not going to like this. But the US made the best one, and Canada made the worst." The space-age one above is Our Lady of the USA. Personally, I think she looks like a ghost made out of tin foil, but there's still something arresting and futuristic about its composition and exploding-galaxy backdrop. Our Lady of Science Fiction.

This is Canada's. It looks like it was jigsawed together by a Grade 6 pottery class. My only excuse to Justin was that it was designed by a Quebecois.

I don't know who did this, but it's awesome.

Japan. Now, I'm sure there are still some folk in the the Red States who believe that Jesus was white. But this is ridiculous.

Sorry. This is ridiculous. Our Lady of Africa, by Uganda.

The outer cloister of the church, and more murals.


The Vatican sent a beautiful mosaic in, with some pope figuring prominently.

The Greeks may not be Catholic, but no one does iconography better than the Eastern Orthodox Churches. They invented Christianity, after all.

Nationalism comes into play. This is from the Ukraine, with Mary's adoring fans decked out in folk clothing.

Mary tries out an outfit in the colors of the Romanian flag.

The countryside, heraldry, and Celtic whorls of Ireland.

Spain's mural depicts Mary in Queen Amidala garments...

... as do those of her former colonial possessions, like Bolivia. Bolivian Mary is brown as a cocoa nut, however, while Spain's is white as porcelain.

Koreans. They play computer games and worship Jesus. There should be a Starcraft logo worked into this.

Indonesia. Mary's pretty hot in this one, if you like mocha-colored chicks.

China has the largest growing Christian population in the world, most of whom, I believe are Catholic.

Vietnam has a pretty generic one. But the Thai one... this one's for you, Nickie.

Best for last. Singapore had to throw its little "multiculturalism" slant in. There's a white kid, and an Indian kid, and a Malay kid, and a Chinese kid. Of course, Mary and Jesus are Chinese. Those Malays and Indians have to understand who's boss in Singapore.